Missy Wilkinson

I write stuff about things.

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Oct 21

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION (a successful pitch series): Thrillist

Oct 21

The author at age 12, writing something very intensely.

The author at age 12, writing something very intensely.

This month, I’ve had a really lucky streak when it comes to writing. I pitched three publications and got three acceptances. I hope this trend continues. And in the name of greater transparency (which the publishing industry, and actually, just about every industry, would benefit from), I want to share my pitch letters and also disclose how much I earned for each story.

Success one was Thrillist. My homie g and colleague Scott Gold has a steady gig writing for Thrillist, so their pieces are very much on my radar. I have a good sense of the Thrillist tone and style, I like to think. I was nosing around for contributor guidelines on their website and I saw Thrillist was looking to hire a health writer. Hey! I am a health writer. I even won a prize once. Anyway, I felt qualified enough to bang out the following cover letter.

Dear Marjorie Ajero and Thrillist folks:

I live in what might be the nation’s unhealthiest city: New Orleans. The land of drive-through daiquiri shops and 24-hour bars, it’s where millions of tourists get in touch with their most debauched selves. It’s also where I train for half-marathons and cover health as special sections editor at Gambit Weekly, New Orleans’ alt-weekly newspaper.

My favorite assignments involve offbeat takes on familiar health subjects. For example, everyone knows about LASIK, but how many people have heard of PRK, the surgery’s older, more painful predecessor? I wrote a firsthand account of my PRK surgery for Gambit last spring (and Youtubed the surgery footage). Another assignment saw me floating in a sensory deprivation tank — a therapy which many studies back as beneficial. In 2013, I won New Orleans’ Council of Alcohol & Drug Abuse’s media award for my coverage of addiction. I’ve also freelanced for clients including Conde Nast (BRIDES), Marriott Traveler, Fodor’s travel guides, xoJane.com, HelloGiggles.com and Zagat (as part of Google’s GeoEditorial team).

All in all, my readers might be drunken, costumed and more likely to suck down a Hand Grenade than a green smoothie. But I like to think my health reporting lets these hedonists live their best lives. That’s what I’d like to do for Thrillist readers.

Thank you for your consideration.

 

Then they contacted me and asked for pitches. I became very excited and sent these:

The pull-out method: man’s most underrated form of birth control?

We’ve heard the jokes. (What do you call men who use the pull-out method? Fathers.) And obviously, the pull-out method takes a little more, um, discipline than barrier or hormonal methods. But did you know that when used correctly, its fail rate (15 to 28 percent) is no worse than that of condoms, diaphragms and cervical caps? Here are more reasons why the pull-out method is a valid form of birth control—not just a punchline.

This classic New Orleans gym where Tennessee Williams worked out also has a full bar

New Orleans doesn’t hurt for places to drink: Bourbon Street bars, college bars, neighborhood bars, gay bars, sports bars…and then there are the bars that aren’t even in bars. You can get a cocktail or draft beer at New Orleans Athletic Club, a health club founded in 1872 that boasts Corinthian columns, chandelier-hung weight rooms, cast-iron detailing and celebrity clients (everyone from Kate Hudson to Clark Gable has worked out there). Of course, the bar offers smoothies—but hey, you just worked out. Everything in moderation, including healthy habits.

Burlesque fitness classes           

They’re 2015’s answer to pole dancing classes, without the weird bruises. The New Orleans School of Burlesque launches this month, with sister schools in Chicago, New York and Seattle. Is burlesque a good workout? Do participants actually strip? Are guys welcome? Can you be the world’s next burlesque star? Together, we’ll explore this glittery world of pasties and boas.

Running while high: terrible idea or a genius one?

A 2014 paper published in the Journal of Cardiovascular Medicine shows you can booze it up without negatively affecting your performance level.  Can the same be said for pot smoking? Could being high actually improve a runner’s high? I’ll be a guinea pig here.

How to mail yourself weed and not get busted

We’re living in a golden age for stoners… or, at least a Golden Pineapple age. But what if you’re not a lucky denizen of Washington or Colorado? Fear not, members of the unbaked 48— I’ve successfully mailed myself marijuana, and YOU CAN TOO. If you’re willing to commit a federal offense, read on for tips.

Taking care of a new tattoo while training for a race. Let’s say you have a long-distance race looming. You’re right in the middle of your training plan when, boom! That booked-up tattoo artist you follow on Instagram has an opening. Will you wreck your new ink if you work out in the days after getting tattooed? Will a large open wound compromise your physical stamina? I’ll weave in my experience getting a large-scale tattoo (I had sessions every two weeks for about a year) while training for my first half-marathon.

Of these pitches, Thrillist asked me to write the stoned running story, which I was delighted to accept. I was paid $100 for the assignment and offered three more. So that is pretty cool. STAY TUNED for more successful pitches. And maybe a blog entry about mailing yourself drugs. But probably not. But maybe.

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Dec 06

Freelance writing: one year update

Dec 06

Enjoy this picturesque (but inaccurate) representation of a writer’s tools.

It’s been a year since I went freelance! Overall, this year has been more rewarding (financially and quality of life-wise) than I ever thought possible. 

Here’s some work I did this year:

  • I wrote 45 stories for The New Orleans Advocate. The total is actually even higher, since a few pieces I wrote for the ADORE section don’t show up on the list, and I’m going to file more stories before the year ends.
  • I wrote 10 stories for Thrillist.
  • I had pieces accepted in two anthologies, this one published by University of New Orleans Press, and another forthcoming from Beating Windward Press.
  • I became advisor for the Driftwood, the University of New Orleans’ student newspaper. This is a fantastic gig. I love working with students and getting their manicure secrets bestowing them with journo wisdom.
  • I wrote more content for company blogs, social media accounts and newsletters than I can keep track of. 
  • I did some sponsored content, such as this story for Tales of the Cocktail and this story for Marriott Traveler, as well as one-off pieces for a handful of clients.

Looking over the list, it seems like a lot of writing. And it is. But I haven’t felt stressed or overwhelmed. I actually feel like I’m pretty lazy and have a lot of down time, which is awesome. I’ve been able to pursue  hobbies, like pole dancing and music. I recorded and gigged with Shouts and Murmurs at the Mobile Museum of Art in May, and I have a gig upcoming with Sex Party on Dec. 16 at Poor Boys. (We go on at like 2am.)

Anyway, this is a pretty self-congratulatory post, but I am FEELING MYSELF right now. I assumed freelancing would be difficult and I’d be broke and stressed, but it’s been easy and I’m making good money and I’m HAPPY. That’s thanks to my fantastic editors, clients, sources, students, etc.

This is turning into an acceptance speech for an award I both created and bequeathed to myself, but let me just say I am super, super grateful for everyone who supported my writing. And that includes you, for reading this blog.

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Feb 14

Going freelance as a writer: a two-month update

Feb 14

Stock photo via Unsplash

It’s now been two months since my last day at a full-time job and things are going well. I thought I’d talk about my cash flow, work sources, health insurance and other stuff so that people want to become freelance writers can see how it works for one person.

My income is steady. Amazingly, my bank account hasn’t dipped over the course of these two months. I think that’s partly because I had overdue paychecks that finally came through in January. I did have a few big expenses–mostly my Obamacare (more on that later).  I’m making around $500 to $700 a week freelancing, based on almost the same mix of clients/editors/assignments I described in this post.

I lost one major gig. Sadly, Thrillist axed their health vertical last week. Which means ones of my steady gigs is gone pecan. It sucks; I loved the assignments, the consistency, the pay and my editor. I got to cover things that I think are important, like the drug war, PTSD in doctors and the cholesterol scam. When my editor broke the news (gently, in a compliment-laced email), he wrote, “Nobody really expected our section to have as much success as it did, and a lot of that is thanks to you. The subject matter we were able to slip onto a burgers and booze site was tremendous.”

But I got an awesome new gig. But, as my mom likes to say, when God closes a door, he opens a window (or another door, I forget which). I have a new gig freelancing for The New Orleans Advocate, which is super awesome. I’m contributing features to Tuesday’s eat.play.live section, and I have a couple upcoming pieces in ADORE, The Advocate’s shopping section. I love the assignments, and my editors are great.

I’m still financing my freelance life with Airbnb. This month I’ll make a little over $1,000 from renting out the extra bedroom. That’s more than most months, because of Mardi Gras. Overall, Airbnb has slowed down since we started in 2014, but between it and Bryan’s rent, I still make enough to cover my mortgage.

I got Obamacare. Health insurance concerned me prior to going freelance, and actually, it still does, because nobody really knows what’s going to happen to it under this administration. I pay $280 a month for the “bronze” level, which is basically one step up from Medicaid. It’s Humana, like my old insurance, but it’s a different network. I have been to the doctor A LOT this past month, because I have two autoimmune diseases. One of them, Hashimoto’s, required bloodwork, because my previous doctor had been tinkering with my dosing. Long story short: my new Obamacare doctor IS AWESOME. He’s a just a few blocks from my house. I can call and often get a same-day appointment.. He is extremely thorough. And best of all, he prescribed me the medication I’d been trying to get, which my previous doctor wouldn’t prescribe. She said I had to see an endocrinologist, and he had a three month wait, and…anyway, you get the picture. Also, my medications are affordable and I can pick them up up Walmart or CVS. Obamacare rocks.

I’m mostly working from home. I had considered renting a co-working space or working from coffee shops, but after a couple months, I can say I’m adequately productive working from home. Added bonuses: it’s free; there’s a kitchen full of snacks and tea; I’m around to get deliveries before they’re stolen off the porch; cats. I avoid becoming a shut-in by taking walks and going to the gym. Also, Lianna Patch and I co-worked once; it was delightful and productive AND she shared her cake with me. Definitely doing that again. I plan to attend some freelancer meet-up groups from time to time.

So, those are the major updates. The coolest thing about freelancing is that I feel like I don’t have a job, but I still get money. Also, Mondays no longer suck, but Fridays are still awesome.

 

 

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Dec 06

My main freelance writing clients, how I got them and what I’m earning

Dec 06

werk

Stock photo via Unsplash

I‘m going to be blogging about freelancing a lot, for two reasons. One, I’m in the process of transitioning from a 9-to-5 newspaper job to self-employment and that’s where my focus is right now. Two, because there’s a lot of haziness and confusion about how freelancers make it work. I’m not saying I am an expert, since I’m just now switching over, but I am earning enough freelance income to cover my bills and quit my job. The assignments listed here pay $50-$200, depending on the client. Here are my main clients and how I got them.

Thrillist. Thrillist is my biggest client right now. My editor generally offers me three to five health assignments every two weeks. I usually claim two assignments from each batch because that’s all I have time for. I’m hoping that once I’ve quit my job, I can take more, because I love health reporting, I love my editor, and I love working with Thrillist. I got this gig by cold-pitching Thrillist; you can read the cover letter I wrote here.

Imaginal Marketing Group. Imaginal handles marketing for salons nationwide. I usually write blog content for them. I got this gig in August, thanks to a referral from owner Kathleen Turpel, who used to work at the newspaper where I work now. This is another reason I’m glad to have had my newspaper job for so long–the contacts are invaluable and the position is a great platform. I suggest that anyone who wants to become a freelance writer work a full-time writing job first (not that this is a super easy thing to do, but if you have the chance, take it, or at least intern). 

SixEstate. This is a content marketing firm, too. I got this gig by applying on WorkNola.com, and a recent scan of that site reveals the owners are looking to pick up more copywriters. So feel free to apply.

SOLID Web Service. I write blog posts for spine surgeons, bariatric surgeons, physical therapists and soon, a lawyer. This is a position where my health reporting background really comes in handy. I got this gig through LinkedIn. Owner Jamie Foster saw my profile and contacted me. So it always pays to keep your LinkedIn profile up to date, if you’re a freelancer.

This is how my week (Monday, Dec. 5 through Friday, Dec. 9) breaks down, freelance-gig wise:

Monday: Blog post for SixEstate 

Tuesday: Blog post for SOLID Web Service 

Wednesday: Blog posts for SixEstate and Imaginal 

Thursday: Blog post for Imaginal 

Friday: Blog post for SixEstate and stylist profile for Imaginal 

The week’s invoices will total $460*.  That’s a little short of the goal I set for myself ($500 a week), but it is still pretty dang good, especially since I am still working full-time at the newspaper. I also get income from renting out my spare bedroom on Airbnb, which warrants its own post. Anyway, next week, I’m set to earn $450, writing two Thrillist pieces and a blog post. That’s also my very last week as a 9-to-5er. As much as I am going to miss the people at Gambit, I’m looking forward to only working one job starting December 16.

*If you want to know what each client pays per blog, message me–I feel like they wouldn’t appreciate me sharing rates on a public post, though.

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Oct 23

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION (a successful pitch series): xoJane

Oct 23

 

I remember ye olden days of unsolicited submissions (circa 2002-2005 for yours truly), when I’d buy stamps and manila envelopes and proceed to abuse the shit out of the free printer in the graduate assistants’ office. You actually had to mail in hard copies back then, and you could buy a copy of Writer’s Market for submission guidelines, but pretty much every publication asked you to “subscribe to the quarterly to familiarize yourself with our tone before submitting” or something along those lines. And I was like, yeah, I’m going to pony up $30 plus this postage plus a reading fee. I MAKE $600 A MONTH. FUCK YOU.

So by necessity, I did a lot of throwing shit at the wall and seeing what stuck. (This remains my career strategy, in many ways.) Anyway, the point of that story is that thanks to the Internet it is SO MUCH EASIER to do what these literary magazines were asking me to do back in the early aughts, which is READ THE PUBLICATION. And reading is what got me my second acceptance this month, by xoJane.com.

If you read this blog, you know this is not the first time I’ve written for xoJane. But it had been a couple years, and I hadn’t felt the burning desire to tell any really embarrassing stories about myself. Until I happened to be READ(ing) THE PUBLICATION and I happened across the story of a woman who dated a public masturbator (PM).

Preach on, sister. Someone knows my pain, I thought.

It turned out the author actually didn’t know my pain. She had UNKNOWINGLY dated a PM. And the commenters complained that like me, they felt let down by the story’s false promise. Give us a real PM story, they implored.

The world was ready for my story. So I sent this pitch letter.

Dear xoEditors:

When I saw “I Went Out With A Subway Masturbator” pop up on my Facebook feed, I clicked without hesitation. Someone had made the same mistake I’d made and gathered courage to talk about it. So I was bummed to find out Anonymous and I weren’t THAT similar. (Aside from the public masturbator dating part.)You see, I once dated a public masturbator. And masturbating in public was exactly the thing he was doing when I first laid eyes on him. Yet I went on to date Public Masturbator, who became known among my friends as simply PM, for the better part of a summer. Was I insane? Desperate? Overly open-minded? Honestly, I still haven’t figured that out. Five years after the romance, the question I’m left with is, where was my better judgment?  Attached, please find my 1,321 word essay about the experience for your consideration. I have written two essays for xoJane.com in the past (here and here), and I also write for Thrillist, HelloGiggles, Country Living and many other internetty outlets. Thank you for your consideration. 

.

You might assume writing for xoJane in the past would have helped me get my foot in the door, but I don’t think it did in this instance, because the editors took me for a new contributor and sent over the contract and bio instructions and everything. Anyway, the story went up fast and the commenters rejoiced. And by rejoiced I mean rejoiced the way a jackal rejoices when it bags a succulent young gazelle. The comments changed from THIS IS NOT A REAL PUBLIC MASTURBATION STORY GIVE US A REAL PUBLIC MASTURBATION STORY to

 
OH MY GOD WHY WOULD YOU DATE A PUBLIC MASTURBATOR YOU STD-RIDDLED IDIOT
 
And I earned $50. And I was very, very amused. STAY TUNED for more successful pitch letters.
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About

Pic by Dre Donoghue

I’m a crime reporter at The Times-Picayune|New Orleans Advocate. From 2009 to 2016, I was special sections editor at Gambit Weekly. I also worked for Vox Media as editor of Curbed New Orleans from August 2018 through November 2019. 

My bylines have appeared in Business Insider, Cosmopolitan, Mic, HuffPost, Jackson Free Press, VICE, The Bitter Southerner, Thrillist and a number of anthologies.

A native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, I majored in English at Louisiana State University before getting my MFA in fiction from the University of New Orleans.

I bike, pole dance, sing and play keyboards when I’m not tending to my two three needy cats.

Mostly writing, sometimes dancing, always scooping up random cats.

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