Archives for March 2015

I am a Carnival curmudgeon purist. Ne’er shall a morsel of king cake cross my lips prior to Epiphany, nor shall a strand of beads bedizen my neck after Ash Wednesday. However, part of me wishes every day could be Mardi Gras. So it was a delight to indulge that side last weekend at a preview party* for the new Louisiana State Museum exhibit From the Big Apple to the Big Easy: Two Carnival Artists. Cosponsored by Fashion Week NOLA and the Friends of the Cabildo, it featured original sketches by Helen Clark Warren (1895-1973) and John C. Scheffler (1939-2012).

I have a pretty big hard-on for Carnival costume design, bulletin design, bal masqué invitation design… and it’s easy to see why. Check this out! It’s a 1991 costume sketch for the Krewe of Aphrodite by Scheffler, titled Flamingos and Orchids.

And this riot of macaws, same designer, krewe and year, reflects the theme Aphrodite’s Tropical Paradise to a T.

Not too be upstaged by these fine ladies, yrs truly donned her most colorful Trashy Diva dress.

Of course, some ladies were relatively demure, like this exorbitantly trained 1946 Queen of High Priests of Mithra by Helen Clark Warren. (Surprisingly, the design was deigned “too ostentatious” and rejected by the krewe.)

A brass band regaled the crowd.

And there was QUITE a crowd!

There’s also a smorgasbord of other Carnival ephemera, including this stunner, as well as floats, band uniforms, throws, paintings, timelines…

I’d advise anyone who doesn’t hate life to visit the Presbytere and check the exhibit out. It’s only $6.

*Shoutout to Wayne Phillips, curator of Carnival collections for the Louisiana State Museum, for inviting me.

Last week, I wrote about being an Airbnb host for Gambit. You can read the essay here. I tried to honestly depict, in 800 words, what it’s like to have strangers present almost constantly in my house. I wanted to answer the questions I’d had before I started hosting, so that if readers were considering their own Airbnb side hustle, they’d walk away more informed.

Well. It was pretty much a shit show. There was this…

And a lot more Twitter vitriol (Twittriol?). AND I just found this reporting Robert McClendon did for the Times-Picayune…about my writing. Read it here.

When I wasn’t hunched over my computer scowling and sizzling with adrenaline, I was pleased. I wrote something and people read it and felt things, even if it was only their “head exploding” because of how bad my writing is. I have never, ever gotten this much Internet hate, and it was kind of awesome. Also, the haters have valid points. “Life-giving sediment” is WAY overwritten. I’m pretty embarrassed I didn’t edit myself better. McClendon points out I didn’t address the illegality of Airbnb, which does bear mentioning. So I’ll do that now, in this here blog.

I do a lot of illegal shit, like most people. I run stop signs, smoke weed and illegally download movies instead of paying $15 to see them at The Shops at Canal Place. SOMETIMES ALL AT THE SAME TIME.* Airbnb is definitely among my favorite illegal things to do, because it’s making me rich. The question I ask myself before undertaking any questionable activity isn’t whether I’m obeying the law, but whether I feel I am making a moral choice. Whether I am Doing Unto Others as I would have them Do Unto Me. So, if ALL my neighbors were to all start Airbnbing their houses, would that be, like, cool with me?

Obviously, I’m going to say yes. But it’s a conditional yes. And the condition is a strong one.

I support Airbnb in owner-occupied homes in New Orleans. I do not support Airbnb in properties leased solely for the purpose of short-term rentals in New Orleans. The former can potentially stabilize neighborhoods by putting money in homeowners’ pockets. The latter turns neighborhoods into hotels, as so many articles bemoan.

San Francisco recently passed legislation stating Airbnb operators “must be the Permanent Resident (owner or tenant) of the residential unit that you wish to rent short-term.” Operators have to register their unit with the county, and they’re limited to one. I would love to see a similar ordinance in New Orleans. But we don’t have one, and according to reporting by my colleagues and homie gs Kevin Allman and Alex Woodward, “the issue is off the front burner for now.”

Until then, locals have to let their conscience, an entity as whimsical and occasionally drunken as New Orleans itself, be their guide.

 

*JOKES.

Lots of little developments about writing and life and the feral cat experiment, none long enough to merit an entire post. So here’s a rambling update about life right now.

Tomorrow, Lyn of Lazy Lady Life and I are hosting a bloggers’ brunch. If you’re a blogger in the New Orleans area, message me. We would love to have you join us. You don’t have to pay money or anything, but if you make killer muffins or mimosas, uh, we’re not going to say no to that. So far, a lot of awesome women are on board, including Mallory Whitfield, Juliet Meeks, Christy Lorio, Megan Braden Perry, Lianna Patch and Emilie Staat. (Dudes can come, too.)

On the writing front: Torquere/Prizm (the press that’s publishing my novel) has assigned me a new editor. Her name is Keren Reed, and she seems AWESOME. She has a freaking PhD in theoretical linguistics, and I feel her clean, succinct style is a very good match for my own. She’ll send me the first draft for review March 23. Also, I am proud to have two pieces in the April/May 2015 issue of BRIDES. One’s about getting hitched in NOLA (p. 326), and the other is a sidebar about dual-destination honeymoons (p. 316). Still can’t believe I have Conde Nast bylines.

This week has been hectic at Gambit. I keep a lot of plates spinning, and sometimes you don’t know when it’s too much until one of those plates falls. This week, I dropped a plate at work, which ended up setting things behind at the paper and adding to the stress of an already stressful week. The good news is it’s motherfucking PIZZA FRIDAY. 

On the LASIK front: I’ve worn glasses for the last two weeks, because contacts can make your corneas swell up a little. In order to gauge whether I am a candidate for LASIK, my eye doctor needed to see my corneas in their natural, unswollen state. So he confirmed that I am indeed NOT a candidate for LASIK, due to my high myopia, thin corneas and big pupils. I definitely want to move forward with PRK; however, the recovery time is long. I’d need to take a week off work. So I just need to figure out when I could realistically do that and whether I can use sick days.

On the feral cat socialization project: Young Graymund has been with us for about four weeks. He’s become comfortable emerging from his lair, lounging on the rug, grooming, stretching and sleeping in front of us terrifying humans, but he still spends most of his time hidden. He still seems scared when we approach him. He has gotten a little fatter and developed a real fondness for his chow. I’ve never owned a cat before, but I am beginning to understand their charms. The only issue with Young Graymund is he won’t let us touch him. I don’t know if he’ll ever get to this point or how long it will take. Phase two of the socialization project is getting him to the vet for a checkup and spay/neuter, if need be.

Hope everything is well with you all. (This feels weirdly like a family newsletter or something.)

Last month, I argued that you need a press release. Now that I’ve convinced you to cultivate a relationship with the media (I hope!), let’s dig into the nuts and bolts.

The first question you should ask yourself is, “Is this newsworthy?” The answer might be “I don’t know,” and that’s fine. You don’t get to decide what’s newsworthy or not. Editors, producers, journalists — you know, the people who make the news — get to decide. And you’re not inside their heads or privy to their deadlines and editorial needs. Sometimes I get press releases that seem rather ho-hum  — like, one time I got this press release about how a shop had remodeled. At first, I thought, Big whoop! But the press release also went on about how the carpenter had made the doors out of repurposed materials. If I’d been writing a piece on creative reuse, I might have contacted that business owner for an interview.

The point is, even the most trivial events might merit press releases. What makes an event trivial? To me, the triviality or profundity of an event (in other words, its newsworthiness) is measured by the number of people it affects. A remodeled store might only affect the customers who shop there. But if you remodel your store, AND throw a celebration party with free refreshments and booze, AND donate a percentage of that night’s sales to charity? Now that is an event I want to tell people about.

So before you sit down to write your press release, ask yourself, “Have I optimized my event to impact (and ideally, benefit) as many people as possible?” Do whatever it takes to make your answer a YES. Then fire up your trusty laptop. We’re going in.

1. In the subject of the email, summarize your event.

Looking through my inbox, I see the following subject lines: 

“ZukaBaby promotes breastfeeding awareness at grand opening – Jan. 24”

“Whole Foods Market coming to Stirling Properties’ Premier Centre in Mandeville, La.”

“New Orleans Home & Garden Show celebrates 60 years”

See how these subjects are short and to the point? I know exactly what kind of information I’ll get if I open the email.

2. Open with a brief introduction and paste the press release in the body of the email.

You can repeat the event description that you used in your email subject, then include a subhed with a little more detail. For example:

DOLLAR GENERAL RELOCATES TO NEW STORE IN HARVEY, LA

Major discount retailer celebrates relocation with grand opening

Next, write the city and the date, and follow it with a sentence about the event. Include the date, start time and end time. Let’s keep going with the dollar store example:

 GOODLETTSVILLE, Tenn—  Dec 1, 2014 — Dollar General continues to make shopping easier and more convenient for customers in Harvey with the grand opening of its new store at 2101 Lapalco Blvd. this Saturday, Dec. 6 beginning at 8 a.m.

See how masterfully they tell me what, when, where and why?

In the following paragraphs, go into more detail about what will happen at the event. Include a quote or two from yourself or some other honcho at your business. Quotes are great, because busy reporters can plug them into a story without having to call you. End with general information about your business, its purpose and history. The whole thing should not be longer than 350-400 words.

3. I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO OFFER HI RES PHOTOS

If you have hi res photos available on request, say so in the press release, and maybe attach a low res version so the editor can get a sense of the quality. Even better: Host your hi res photos on Flickr and include a link for media people to download them. I love it when businesses can provide their own gorgeous, slick, professional photos, because that means I don’t have to use my budget and time to hire a freelance photographer. Make your media contact’s job EASY, and he or she will be much likelier to cover you. Photos make this possible!

4. THE THREE THINGS YOU MUST INCLUDE!!!!

About 90 percent of press releases fail to include three things:

Business address. Business phone number. Business website.

Ideally, put them all next to each other so I don’t have to dig around. And of course, your own personal contact information in case the media person wants to interview you.

5. LAGNIAPPE

Want extra credit? Write your press release using AP Style. This makes you look like a media pro who knows your stuff.

Last week, my friend (and poet extraordinaire) Jenn Nunes invited me to the fiction workshop class she teaches at Southern University New Orleans. We had an awesome and provocative conversation about writing. But don’t take my word from it! Here are some highlights. 

Maci Craig: I want to write a children’s book. I also like writing urban fiction. Should I change my name? I don’t think anyone is going to want to read a children’s book by someone writing urban fiction.

Me: This question is important, and I see it asked a lot at writing conferences. If you are writing for children as well as an adult, explicit audience, you probably want to keep your personas separate. But keep in mind the danger is you divide your efforts. When you have two different names, you can’t cross-pollinate with the readers from each of these groups. You’re dividing up your efforts against yourself.

Ronnie Surtain: You can’t be Dr. Seuss and be writing Zane books, but if it was me, I wouldn’t change my name. I want to be represented, whether it is a children’s book or a horror book. People are trying to keep up with you. 

Me: I’ve seen so much emphasis on transparency, which is being honest about all these facets of your life that you might otherwise keep hidden. We all have different facets. When you have this fake name, it’s hard, you have this secret and are afraid of it. It takes a lot of courage to [be transparent].

Ronnie Surtain: As a DJ, I can’t promote one name and then come out with something under another name. Under another name, It’s not getting no love. People like what they know. They feel like we’re making some kind of connection. The more they know about you, the more they want to know.

Me: And people expect to know everything about you now, if you’re a writer, which is a public figure.

Jenn Nunes: Can you say why you chose to write about Tao?

Me: I started seeing a therapist here in New Orleans probably four years ago because I was stressed out from work and from my boyfriend, who had a terminal illness that he later died from. Also, the way I thought about things seemed illogical to people. So I talked to her about it for the first time. I looked on the internet for stories by people who had gone through something similar, because I thought it would help me. But I couldn’t find very many. So I thought, “Let me write this, because this is a story I would want to read, and I know a lot of people are in this position.” I wrote it quickly and they accepted it. It was extremely therapeutic, because I had already been in therapy for it, but it was still a secret I had. And when I told that story to such a large audience, it was not a secret at all. That was tremendously liberating.

Lauren Robinson: When you write fiction, do you write for it to be therapeutic or entertaining?

Me: When I’m writing to sell something, like a book to a publisher or an article for a newspaper, I’m always writing to entertain. That doesn’t mean it’s not informed by experiences I’ve had that might have been good or bad. I almost always process things by doing some kind of journaling, but that doesn’t normally make it to the end product. I feel like it is still there and influencing my stuff because it is a part of me. But when I write for other people, I am writing to entertain them or teach them something. Not so much to process something myself. That is something I do only with myself or my therapist and whoever. But this is a good question, because writing is cathartic.

Lauren: It very much is. That’s why I started writing poetry, because it’s easier for me to write it than talk to someone else about it. … I am not a happy writer, even though I’m a very happy person. But all my writing seems to be inspired by upset and anger. 

Me: And poetry, confessional poetry is a thing I don’t know about. So Jenn would be a good one to talk to about that. For you, it might be more cathartic.

Maci: I do the journalistic writing, blogging and fiction, but I hate journalistic writing. I write for newspapers because it’s an extra hustle. 

Me: First, congratulations on wearing so many hats as a writer. That is really important for building your platform. 

Maci: I like blog journalistic writing. I’ll tell you what’s going on, but I want to tell you in my voice and with my opinions. In the newspaper, you can’t take a side. With my school paper, I wrote about Bring Back Our Girls and how everyone just forgot about it. I wrote about Ferguson, and it was really hard writing that article and not taking a side. So I called it Black Lives Matter, and that’s my side. I feel like if I wasn’t at an HBCU (historically black colleges and universities), I wouldn’t be able to take that side, and that is why I don’t like journalistic writing. Because I am going to take my side.

Me: I think you should take your side. Your voice and side are important, and the mainstream press needs to have that. Jarvis DeBerry does a lot of good writing. He would say black lives matter. He says a lot of things that piss white people off. People need to know. They need to hear these voices.

Jovanda Cromwell: Are you ever nervous about how your writing is perceived? I would be nervous. I’m trying to be real, but I’m worried about how it would be perceived.

ME: I am nervous every single time I publish anything. The bigger of a risk I take, the more scared and nervous I am. I almost always feel like everything I write is bad and stupid. Luckily, you don’t have to actually be self-confident to be a writer. You have to feel terrified, but then do the thing anyway. You have to click publish on your website anyway, or email your story to an editor anyway. You just have to do it anyway.